i really have nothing to say

If my lack of posts haven't made it clear, I really have had nothing good to update you all on lately.

I'm not so much quitting the blog but I just haven't been in the spirit lately.

I've been finding that I have such a negative feeling surrounding me on a daily basis and it's really so hard to go on each day with it.  I am trying to see the positive in things but there are too many negatives.  Friends, Family, Work, Daily Life.  It's all overbearing sometimes.

For instance, I am ecstatic for my best friend who recently announced her pregnancy. She's having a baby girl!  But I can't help but feel upset knowing that our relationship will change in the future.  I personally have no desire (at this point) to have any children, and I worry that her life will be surrounded by poopy diapers, an adorable toothless smiling baby, play dates, and play dates with other mommys.  I know this is SO UNBELIEVABLY SELFISH, but I will have to learn how to adjust to this new time in both our lives, her as a mother, me as a girl with a best friend who will be a mother.  It's going to be hard.

Family: I don't even have the words for this one right now.

Work:  I keep telling myself "if they want to pay me to print emails then so be it!!!!" but I can't help but get pissed off when I come into work with about 30 emails flagged for printing, all with a ridiculous amount of attachments; mostly excel documents that require all the spreadsheet margins to be altered and paper size changed to 11x17.  It doesn't sound like much but it gets exhausting after about the 5th email or so. Not to mention this takes up a huge chunk of time during my day, and I do have other priorities to take care of.

Daily Life:  We recently had our mantle redone.  What you don't know is that it isn't finished. I'm living in a living room which was once beautifully decorated, which now is a barebones room that looks like we just moved in.  After Christmas I took everything down, decorations and everyday decor as we were expecting the carpenter to come on that Saturday.  I texted him Friday night and asked that we were still on for the AM and that I would have coffee ready for him.  He responded that his wife surprised him with tickets to Las Vegas and that he would be here on Monday. Okay, so was he going to tell me this if I hadn't texted him? Anyway, I'm not sure why I'm fuming about this because he came bright and early that Monday and it was done by the end of the day.   The painter was supposed to come the following day but he hadn't heard from him.  Fast forward to the weekend, and we find out the painter got into a SKI ACCIDENT literally the day before he was supposed to do our paint job (living room, welcome area, huge ass stairwell/hallway).  So now, here we are a month later and still no insight as to when this painter will come do everything...including finishing the mantle (all the drill holes, painting it, putting some new dry wall in). It's a mess.  And I just have no desire to put everything back up after the amount of time I spent taking it down and storing it away.

I'm finding I'm so lazy with meals, I usually eat the same thing every week.  Tacos (chicken or beef), chicken of some sort, eggs, coffee, and I can't even think what the heck else I'm eating.

I haven't been exercising like I wanted to.  I tried power walking at the gym and my right ankle is seriously throbbing the moment I step foot on the treadmill.  I can't find my stupid bathing suit so I went to Modells and scored a Nike suit on sale for 20.00. I bought what I thought was my size.  Apparently it's not.  The Nike swim suits have NO stretch to them the way Speedo does.  So frustrating.

I find I'm getting so irritated anyone calls me. I don't want to talk. But I can't tell these people I don't want to talk without seeming like I'm a huge bitch.  My dad texted me yesterday and I had a friend over for dinner- I didn't respond because quite frankly I find it rude as f*ck to have your cell phone out when you are entertaining friends.  Of course said friend had her phone out the entire time but I won't even go there.  So then he called me (they are in Florida).  "Did you get my text?" "Yes but I have Said Friend over right now" and then proceeds to go on talking to me, I literally said I have to go and hung up.  What a freaking bitch am I or what?  I just don't want to talk!

While I don't mind being a helpful ear, I can't help but get frustrated how so many people come to me to out their frustrations.  I guess if I looked on the positive side, I must be someone they feel comfortable talking to to tell me all their problems. So many times have I had a good story to tell and I never get a word in. Ever. Sometimes I just want to talk to! (Even though that contradicts what I just wrote in the paragraph before).

Confession: I've been away from my husband for 4 nights now, and it's sad that I'm not even head over heels ready to go home.  I'm telling you, I have issues here.

What the hell is up?

I'm a s-southern belle, crazier than hell (pronounced "haaay-ill")

Am I the only one who still really loves "Hall of Fame" by The Script?? Yes? No? I mean, how powerful is that piano solo when it starts?

::crickets::

I know. So weird, but it just came on SPOTIFY* and I immediately started jamming out at my DESK AT HOME...BECAUSE THAT'S RIGHT I'M OFF TODAYYY. (p.s. i really had to stop myself from writing "bitches" at the end of that because it reminded me of Miley which brings me to the point of my post today..which will get to in one moment)

Insert sad face: Because I will not have off until Memorial Day Weekend now.  That's a freaking LONG ASS TIME to have NO HOLIDAYS (hello, what about our Founding Fathers, or St. Valentine for heaven's sake!!!)

So what were we getting at, Miley..that's right. Seriously guys. I can't stand this girl. I know everyone is so into talking crap about her, and well I'm just going to jump on the bandwagon too because I really can't get over her.  I miss the SO-innocent but what we thought was SO-scandalous Miley when she wore really short shorts at the Teen Choice Awards in 2009.  I was starting to accept her stupid short blonde hair cut, and then she goes and does this:

Seriously though, Come ON.  I'm SO OVER HER STUPID WHITE CROP TOPS AND SUSPENDERS, THE RED LIPS, STUPID HAIR, AND JUST HER. Yes this will be a post in which I rant about Miley Cyrus, but really who hasn't done this post yet? I'm just late to the party.  But really, the real point of this post is my subject line.

Have you heard the song "Do My Thang" yet? No? Oh okay, here it is:

So I heard this song on *Spotify (seriously I JUST downloaded this about a week ago... how could I have waited SO long?!?!?!).  The intro is actually really good, I'm not technical when it comes to explaining sounds in songs but I like the beat, it's catchy...But then she goes and opens her mouth. This song has so many ridiculous lines in it I couldn't even tell you which one was my favorite.  Maybe the fact she's rapping but she has such a TWANG in her voice so she just sounds really dumb.

Favorite lines:

"i'm a southern belle, crazier than hail" <--yes i spelled like that on purpose

"oh shit, pass that shit around baby"  because that's so talented to come up with those lyrics, oh and we KNOW what you are talking about Miley.

the whole 2nd verse (she said bitch 5 times! for WHAT?), but focus more on this line: It's bananas like a fucking 'rangatang bitch

SHUT UP. this is the dumbest song I've ever heard! What is with artists talking about banging like gorillas and orangutans? omg. 

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But now that I've bitched about miley enough.. let me talk about some music that is actually WORTHY of talking about.

Lorde. Holy Hell is this girl talented. I'm currently LOVING "Team"

Katy Perry.  "Dark Horse"

Britney. "Perfume" (I don't like the concept of this song but it's very catchy!)

Sean Paul. "The Other Side of Love"  (I have a soft spot in my music heart for Sean Paul ever since the song "We Be Burnin'" came out)

Avicii. "Hey Brother"  I had this app during x-mas time called "12 Gifts of Christmas" and on New Year's Eve the gift was an Avicii mix-up of Hey Brother/You Make Me/I Could Be The One.  If you are into that music, see if you could check it out. It's great!

I haven't been up to much.  One of these days I'll get around to posting my new fireplace mantle pics.... but I can't do that JUST yet because our painter BROKE HIS ARM AND LEG IN A SKI ACCIDENT. REALLY?  Don't get me wrong, I hope the man heals nicely but if you have a job such as a PAINTER why in Sam's hell would you go skiing the DAY BEFORE YOUR SCHEDULED JOB???? UGH! Sometimes people have NO brains!

Oh, and ONCE again, I got my hair re-highlighted. I am becoming addicted. I posted a pic on instagram!

HAPPY  MONDAY!

You know it's officially winter when...

Guys, I'm really tired today.  Every Sunday night without fail I NEVER sleep. And it really makes for an exhausting Monday.  Usually I get into work and I snap out of it but I've been yawning non-stop since I got in.  Actually, I'm thinking about it and I know why.  I didn't have coffee this morning.  Am I really that dependent on it?

I decided when I was in Costco over the weekend to buy a big ass can of Protein Powder.  It was pretty and made me go "ooo" and "ahhh" and the flavor was quite tempting..."Cookies and Cream".  At forty dollars, I was taking a giant risk spending that money and potentially hating it but I am excited to say that I LOVE IT.  I do bad with breakfast. I've tried doing fruit, yogurt, cereal (I always forget the milk at work), and I've fallen into the rut of having a 16 oz coffee (sometimes  more) and that fills me up until lunch time. That really is not healthy.

Enter MusclePharm Combat Powder. (Wow I really sound like a meat head here).

I mix 1 scoop with about 12 oz of 2% milk and it's actually really good.  It's easy on my stomach and I'm hoping that it helps with my work outs.  I'm really not looking to lose weight, I've always said this on the blog. I'm just a 5'2" girl who has a little bit of softness around her body that wants to firm up and build muscle.  I hope to keep up with this - we'll see how it goes!

As far as work outs, in April my yearly renewal with Robert Wood Johnson fitness is going to be up.  Do I want to renew it? It's about $34.00 per month and it has pool, classes and state of the art equipment. This gym is seriously nice. I HATE retro. And really there are no other options for me where I live (that is convenient). Do I want to continue the membership? I've joined Tone It Up and they provide free workouts on their blog. Plus, they are so beautiful! They have a "Beach Babe" DVD series volume 1 and 2, and they are affordable.  Do you girls do at-home workouts? Do you stick to your routines or find that you slack at home?

So onto the main point of this post....It's officially winter in my book. Now I know that officially, Winter made her first appearance for the 2013-2014 season on December 21st, but I still wasn't ready to accept the fact Fall blew by us like the tornado swept through Kansas and took Dorothy to see the Wizard of Oz. But there have been a few things happening that have made me finally accept the fact it is after all Winter.

- I changed my foundation.  You know it's winter when you go from an already pale (Creamy Neutral) to an even PALER version (classic ivory) to slather on your face...and it gives YOU COLOR. (That's really pathetic.. I can't understand how I get really tan in the summer but I am a legit GHOST in the winter).  I use CoverGirl TRUblend and I honestly think this is one of the best foundations I've come across in awhile!

- I have a somewhat new car and it takes a good 10 seconds to start. Because it's so cold!

- My hands are see through, as in my veins look like a hand accessory.

- Crock pot cooking, EVERY WEEKEND. I'm not sad about this.

- My closet looks like it threw up eleventy hundred scarves, hats and gloves.

And that's all I can come up with.  When I was driving into work this post idea seemed like a good one, but now I'm coming up with zilch.  A lot went on this weekend, I would love to recap it for you but to be honest I'm just feeling all sorts of lazy at the current moment.  How I feel right now:

TO DO LIST:

1. NOT GIVE A F**K

2. THAT IS ALL.

Happy Monday and let's get this day over with so we are closer to having a three day weekend. Please and thank you. over and out.

paradise - a picture's worth.

Taken from my ocean view balcony at the Sandals Grande Antigua.  Mike and I went there for our honey moon (almost two years ago!!!) and I dream about this paradise everyday.  I think this was the best vacation I've ever been on, regardless of the fact it was my honeymoon.  Everything was perfect at this resort.  When I die and go to heaven, I surely hope it looks like this!

I wish I was there right now, this cold weather is starting to get old real quick. Summer, please show your fact sooner rather than later!

Yes I realized I skipped on spring, but really, spring is mostly cold anyway!

7 Cardinal Rules for Life

I'm entering 2014 with a positive attitude.

I wrote down my New Year's Resolutions and I really hope to stick to them.

I've come up with a strict budget that I'm certain I can accomplish, I'm trying to cut off my extra spending on nonsense items.  This means no more trips to Homegoods or Marshalls "just because".  I don't need clothes. Our house is pretty much decorated with the exception of the living room.  I'm allowing myself to buy a picture ledge from Ikea because I've always wanted one for the wall. And maybe a couple of knickknacks for the shelf that we have our DVD player and cable box on. But other than that, the house is basically set. There is no reason I can't stick to my budget.  I am also participating in the 52-week money challenge.  This will be a challenge because I rarely have cash on me.  I'm so used to using a debit card so I'm going to try hard NOT to use it except for gas only! If I can get myself in the habit of paying with cash, everything will be paid for upfront and I won't have to worry about it in the future.

If you ever find yourself going for the credit card, ask yourself: why am I using my credit card? Is it because I don't have the cash upfront and more convenient for me to pay later? BIG NO NO.  If you don't have the cash for it right then and there, you can't afford it. Plain and simple.  And if you can afford it (whatever IT may be) you would have gone to the store specifically for it and prepared to buy it in cash or on your debit card.  This really is one of my problem areas.  While I can afford to buy the things I've gotten in the past, I wasn't properly prepared for buying said item. And then I find other things to spend my money on, money that was allotted for the item I purchased on the credit card and then that gets pushed to the back burner.

I would like to pay more compliments to my husband.  I always get so caught up in such little petty, materialistic things that I forget what's important. "I hate those jeans Mike, they're SO baggy!" "Ugh are you really wearing those socks with those sneakers" "Man you need a haircut".  HOW THE HELL would I feel if Mike said these things to me? "Boy your hair looks like shit today Lauren". "That shirt looks so old, you should really stop wearing it and throw it away". I would be completely devastated. Why is it okay for me to be so nitpicky to him? IT'S NOT.   This was actually my first item on the list.  BE NICE. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all....or, in my case, find something NICE to say!

Find a new job where I am happy was also on the list.  I'm going to temporarily cut this one off.  Mike and I discussed that we really do want to move within 1 year, up to two years and honestly there is no point in heading out somewhere new at this point.  I have a well paying job, decent (jerks changed our benefits) benefits, great time off, and I know my boss' work ethic. Why settle into something new to only have to quit in a couple of years.  Suck it up.  No one loves their job. I have to keep telling myself that one.

Don't compare myself to others. This is nothing but bad news. You have to be happy with what you have. Be happy being YOU.

Which brings me to: 7 Cardinal Rules for Life.  I found this on face book a couple of weeks ago and I screen shot the text because I absolutely loved it, and knew I wanted to share this on the blog at some point.  I don't know who the author is that made this.  I did however make it all fancy-schmancy. You know us bloggers can't have anything ugly on the blog :)

What do you think? These rules really spoke to me. I'm going to keep these in the back of my mind when things aren't right.

Happy New Year - glad to be back everyone!