November 13, 2014

skinny jeans and knees / a wedding dilemma

So I'm wearing my H&M skinny dark denim jeans today. I try to get 2-4 uses out of them before I wash them, because a)they shrink and b)the darkness ALWAYS wears off. Nothing makes me cringe more than jeans that once were dark wash and then look all faded. It really irks me, so if you are near me, don't wear jeans like that. Anyway, it's rather cold here today in NJ and since my boss and her backup are out of the office (and I have a car appointment right after work) I said to myself, "I'm wearing jeans today with my boots!" Personally, I hate wearing "work business clothes" to appointments. And this could be an appointment of any kind really, hair, car, doctor's. It just makes me so nutty! So that brings me to the topic of my skinny jeans and my knees.
Picture from Advice from a 20 Something
The current pair I have on, I wore one other time before this and so today, my 2nd time wearing, and they are inside my tall boots. I have that ugly knee gathering because they are stretched out. What the hell, really? Why must they stretch out so badly?! I do sit cross-legged in work sometimes, but NEVER with skinny jeans because I know what the result is = ugly baggy knee area. And put that inside of tall boots = one ugly freaking look.  So my question is, are you people wearing skinny jeans inside your tall boots? Do you have magic kneecaps that don't stretch out your pants? Are they so tight that they don't stretch? Are you wearing JEGGINGS?! Help me out here! I'm very self-conscious when it comes to baggy knee caps in skinny jeans. It's funny and ridiculous at the same time!


Now that I've gotten that silly shit out of me, let's move onto something serious. I really need help here.

Let me start with the facts: As you know, I am the Maid of Honor for my sister in law.  Her wedding is in April 2016. Currently, I am 29 years old, with a birthday in August, (next year I will be 30). I am in a wedding in August of next year and then 8 months later will be my sister in law's wedding. At that point, I'll be approaching 31. Do you follow?

Now here is the story:  I had my mother in law over for tea to catch up and when she got to my house, she told me my sister in law and her fiance would be coming (thanks for asking if they could come over BTW) [okay that was bratty, I really didn't care :) ]. We were all chitty-chattying and my sister in law said "Okay I have a question". My stomach dropped and I wondered what this was all about. She said, "Would you be opposed to going to Vegas for my bachelorette party?" I already had a nervous pit developing in my stomach, this just put me over the edge.  Now if you've been around here long enough, you know I'm not a partyer, go outter type person.  So I simply stated "Really? Umm (not a bratty um by the way) I guess? I mean, if I am physically able to go, I guess so?"  She didn't get my hint (aka maybe I'll be pregnant?) So we kept talking about it and then I just flat out said "You know, I'm turning 30 next year and Mike and I do have some sort of plan in action as far as moving on to the next steps in our lives, and wanting to start a family"   She asked me when we would start trying (is that really her business?) and I said in the late summer of next year (which would *fingers crossed* put me pregnant in April 2016 during her wedding.  All of a sudden the room got so quiet, and she turned ice cold. Everyone left and that was it.

So, is it wrong of me to say these things? Obviously I don't know what my future holds but I can't be 8 months pregnant in my other friends wedding in August, it's so messed up! I really don't want to go to Vegas (hello, we live in NJ). Not to mention putting starting a family on the side, that would be 2 vacation days I have to save, on top of 1 for her actual wedding date (it's on a Friday). Am I wrong here?! Argh. Life. It can be so complicated sometimes!


  1. you are not wrong. it's none of her business when you want to start a family, or if you are going to be pregnant during her wedding. however, she does have every right to ask you to not be in the wedding then (if she did, she wouldn't be a very nice person!). personally, i wouldnt have said anything and then later 'whoopsadaises we're pregnant, can't come to vegas'.
    in my group of girlfriends, 4 of them grew up together and i basically slid in to take the 4th's place because she lives in a different state. she's also the only one not married and has been with her boyfriend for like 10 years, i kid you not. anyway we went up to visit her recently and she was talking about plans for when he finally proposes like her bachelorette (vegas) and wedding (destination) and none of us said anything but i know we were all thinking it.. we might be pregnant (2 of them already have children, one of which is pregnant with her 3rd) and me and the other girl might be pregnant (seriously he still hasn't proposed) and even if we aren't that shit is expensive man. i choose how to spend my money and i choose not to do that. but anyway, i'm rambling.
    i never have that problem with my jeans - my skinny jeans are so tight because.. well, i fill them out :-| seriously, i can barely fold the ends of my jeans because they are so tight (maybe i'm wearing the wrong size lol).
    sorry for the longest comment ever!

  2. You're not wrong at all! She can't tell you that you can't start a family! And asking someone to go to Vegas for something like a bachelorette is a pretty BIG thing to ask, in my opinion!

    I get my skinny jeans from Walmart. They don't do that. Maybe the cheaper they are the better in this case??

  3. I don't think you're in the wrong as far as how you feel about any of this. One, the details of your becoming a parent are ABSOLUTELY not her business; you should feel completely free to make those decisions with your husband that fit around what you two want and decide on. Two, does she know you at all and the fact that you're not a Vegas type of person? Those vacation days plus the expense and stress of travel on top of the other costs and duties that come with being a bridesmaid are a lot to ask of someone, and it doesn't really sound like she (like many other brides tend to) hasn't looked at her wedding or bachelorette from the perspective of anyone that she has asked to be involved in it. That's unfair and one reason I kind of loathe weddings and bridesmaid-hood.
    That said, you don't have to go. It's your money, your time, your sanity, and no social custom should force you to part with any of those things on someone else's terms. If I were you, I would propose AC as an alternative (HELLO WE'RE IN NJ! Do AC!) or, simply tell her that if she has her heart set on Vegas, you hope she and the rest of her bridesmaids have a great time and it just isn't an option for you. You really needn't elaborate more than that. If they go and you stay back, do something like send champagne up to the room for when they arrive as a gesture. Just my thoughts :)

  4. First of all - love the new layout - so pretty!! Moving on to the wedding fiasco...UMMMM I can't believe they just left! Who does that? I personally don't think it's anyone's business when you guys decide you want to have a family...I mean that is just so awkward to ask!! I think it was nice of her to ask if you would be opposed to going to Vegas, but it's up to you ultimately to decide to go, I mean just because you're in a wedding doesn't mean you have to do everything before the wedding too!!

    As for the jeans dilemma - I'm with Kristen...mine don't do that...maybe they need to be tighter...even if they do stretch!

  5. Ahem. No, no NO. You should not let anyone else's life stop you from living yours. It should not even be a consideration. Also, if anyone is being a brat here, it's your SIL. I understand it's her/their "day," but guess what? The world does not revolve around her and she shouldn't expect it to! In fact, she should have been (even somewhat) excited that you guys are planning to start a family. And you did say you would if you were able to go. So no, you are completely not wrong here, and I would have done and said the same thing.

    As for the jeans, mine do that too. I hate the knee sag. But jeggings definitely work better because they stretch and retract easier.

  6. No way girl, its no ones business but your own when you start a family! A person can only plan their life out so much, you never know what will happen!

  7. I don't think you should have to plan your live and future plans around weddings or other's events. I also think pregnancy would be a perfect excuse not to go to vegas. :)
    No tips for the stretched out jeans around your knees. However, I am going to check mine every time now to see if I have it!

  8. I've never noticed if I have stretched out knees (I probably don't #fattystatus), but I will be looking out for them now. I think you had every right to say what you said. I mean it's HER wedding, which means YOUR life does not revolve around HER wedding. If she has a problem with it, threaten to wear white ;-)!

  9. 1) i dont wear jeasn with boots. i find that too constricting so i wear jeggings or leggings.

    2) i dont see that she said anything wrong with that suggestion; she was merely throwing it out there. that said, what you said wasn't wrong either as you also have plans. so instead of giving a firm NO, why not just play it by ear. no one knows what the future holds so who knows, maybe the vegas trip won't even pan out. but i dont think either party (you or her) were wrong in just talking about things.