December 05, 2013

19 Awkward/Annoying/Silly/(insert adjective) Situations We've all be in!

Today I had a myriad of ideas to post about, all of which I think are good (so I'll just save them for another date!)... but then I got this email in work that was too good to pass up as a blog post.  So, I will preface by saying this: *I did not make these up, I received in an email and am simply re-posting, nor do I know who the original author is.* Public Service announcement ended. Thank you.

19 Law's that we've all found to be true
and my personal comments in parenthesis

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. (or while making meatballs...same difference)

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. (or the cats will bat it around like its the coolest toy EVER)

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. (like, don't pick your nose in public people. there is ALWAYS someone watching)

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. (when they answer, I always panic and press off really quickly!!! OR I stumble my words and sound like I have a speech impediment)

5. Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help. (YES I'M TALKING TO YOU TARGET AND WALMART. and ironically I'm always the line chooser)

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. (Totally true in NJ)

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. (Surprisingly, I ALWAYS call my mother when she is in the bath. every. single. time.)

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. (lol when I was a teenager shopping with my mom in Walmart)

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. (hahaha my boss, 99% of the time on computers :) )

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. (that's why I have my trusty back scratcher in work in my pencil cup.)

11. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. (OH MY GOD, don't EVEN get me started on this one!!!!)

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. (Or breakfast, or lunch, or anything else you're really ready to enjoy!)

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. (or Murphy's Law of Bathroom Stalls. COME ON.)

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. (Fingers crossed I haven't done this)

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. (eh, I don't believe this to be true)

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (Target brand Eye Make up Remover (the green cap one), Pepperidge Farm Flat breads, Planter's Cheese Balls and Potato Stix, Pillsbury Spinach Appetizers)

19. Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician. (Like my stupid ganglion cyst.  It was HUGGGGEEE and I made appointment, couldn't get in for two weeks, and then it shrank back down. I paid a stupid $25 copay for NOTHING and 5 minutes of the Doctor's time!)


  1. Doctors Law and Supermarket Law are the two that happen most to me, ahhh!

  2. These are all so unfortunately true! Also, similar to #1, you will always have to pee while waiting for your nails to dry.

  3. #4 happens to me EVERY DAMN TIME I shop! Not even kidding!

  4. These are too funny! So many of these happen to me WAY too often!

  5. Supermarket law caught me TWICE recently. Gotta love it.

  6. I always get stuck in the slow lane at the store. And when i change lanes in traffic I end up behind a slow person!! Ugh! & #10... So true!!

  7. I always get stuck in the slow lane at the store. And when i change lanes in traffic I end up behind a slow person!! Ugh! & #10... So true!!