December 17, 2013

It's Tuesday.

It's Tuesday...that's pretty wild. All day yesterday since I was off, I felt like it was Sunday. And this morning and all day today, I've felt as if it was Wednesday.

Don't you hate days like that?

Why don't you sit right down and I'll begin where I left off yesterday....

I was off to make my cookies. Without parchment paper.  No big deal, I have these fancy schmancy cookie baking sheets so I'll be fine.  Right? Right!

I gathered all of my ingredients and tools.  I did the trusty trick with a butter* knife to get the flour measured., over the bag of flour where you pat it down to press it in, and then "shave" it off as you swipe the straight edge part of the butter knife across the cup to make an even line of the flour. Putting my home-ec skills from HS to good use!  I would say about 95% of the excess flour made it to my counter top and floor*.  Same thing happened with the powdered sugar.  It was time for me to take a shortcut with softening my butter now.  Recently I saw a really exciting pinterest trick about "grating butter"with a cheese grater. Well i don't know who the HELL came up with that idea but it's a completely bogus MESS...So I popped it in the microwave and it ended up basically becoming liquid butter EVEN ON HALF POWER.  You know when you dump liquid butter into the mix, the cookies don't turn out right.  Whatever, moving forward.  I get my KitchenAid hand mixer and start mixing away.  This recipe called for the powdered sugar and butter to get light and fluffy after about 5 minutes of mixing.  Well, let me tell you my arm was getting tired and that shit wasn't getting fluffy.  By the way. My idiotic kitchenaid hand mixer was made for RIGHT HANDED PEOPLE.  Now don't get me wrong, I am a right-handed woman however being right-handed, that means I also like to swipe around the mixing bowl with the spatula with my right hand while beating with my left. So why in SAM'S HELL IS THE WIRE COMING OUT OF THE RIGHT BACK SIDE OF THE HAND MIXER AND NOT THE CENTER BACK??

Well if you have one of these mixers, you know how long the cord is. In case you don't, use your imagination with the picture above.  So if I am handmixing with my left hand and its plugged in, you can CERTAINLY imagine how ANNOYING this long as cord is as you are beating and its practically lying in your mixture. Don't you think the cord should be in the center of the back? To be universally even for both lefties and righties???? Ugh, moving on. Long story short: the cookies came out great, and I ate 3 of them within 10 minutes and had to stop myself from eating more since they are for the cookie exchange. OH, and my best friend confirmed her mom was making basically the same exact cookies as I already did. WIN. ARGH. Good think I'm oh-so-generous and making more cookies tonight (even though I REALLY don't want to right now).

By this point I was in need of a good-old fashioned nap. That didn't happen.  That box of goodies that was waiting to be shipped to OK was calling my name. I got up and went to the post office by the corner store, it was 3:30pm and busy as EVER.  The line was TWICE as LONG as it was in the morning and I just couldn't leave again and chance driving across town to the other post office...lord knows those idiots would have been on a lunch break or picking their nose with a be back later sign.  I got on line and some old man decided he was going to count out every single dollar bill he owned right behind me in my ear. You know that noise...when you count money fast, it makes that "pfft" noise. Well times that by maybe 20 or so bills. I did one of those sly turn my head over my shoulder behind me looks and then sighed out loud.  He continued with the bill counting so obviously he isn't good at reading signals. I got the crap mailed and I'm shocked that "parcel post" will take 8 whole days to get there.  Well thankgoodness I got to the post office when I did or else i'd have to pay for expedited shipping!!

Later: Mike was coming home from work late so it was decided that I would eat dinner without him.  I started dinner and had a recipe that called for baking potatos for 40 minutes so I decided, ya know what? What the hell, let me throw together that Lowe's bookshelf and get that all set up. HOLY MOLY. If I wasn't so damn lazy, I'd take my fuming fingers to website and rate it THE ABSOLUTE WORST BOOKSHELF TO PUT TOGETHER ALONE EVER. Now, I am a handy (wo)man.  Putting shelves together like this is a piece of cake...or so I thought. 2 splinters and callouses later, the shelf is put together and I think I just worked off the 3 cookies from earlier.  I was so wiped out, cursing and fuming that I decided that piece of shit was going in our backroom and it was the Kohl's bookshelf's time to shine in the front room.  Screw you Lowe's bookshelf. 

So longest story ever short: The cookies were good, the gifts were mailed out, and the bookshelf is put together.

*I wouldn't be lying when I told you my cats had to walk through all the flour on the floor too. Those darn cats.


  1. I seriously love your posts and adventures! I can just picture how frustrating all of those things must have been because they have definitely all happened to me! Hope your cookie baking is less messy tonight!

  2. you are like wonder woman!!!! i got exhausted just reading it. the shelf is the worst! i woulda put it all in the trash.

  3. I don't assemble things. I usually get some form of rage.

  4. OMG..... at least you were able to eat some cookies. lol

  5. OMG I thought it was Weds all day too, so sad!

  6. Goodness! At least everything turned out good in the end!!