Mandolin Slicers

I remember the day I got my first mandolin slicer. Very vividly actually.  It was about two months ago, after I had a hibachi dinner and decided that I needed one so I could get mushrooms sliced thing like they come in the Miso Soup. Luckily, my coworker had two in her house that were not used, they were brand new. So she gave me one. I was SO freaking ecstatic I got one for free and started using it immediately. 

It came with all these contraptions and I was too lazy to read the instructions.  I just wanted thinly sliced mushrooms and onions (for homemade pizza, not miso soup). So I found the piece that I thought would be the most common (without any holes in it) popped it into the actual slicer and got to work. I was thrilled with the results and it quickly became my go-to kitchen gadget.

That was until last night that is.

Last night I was supposed to make meatloaf for dinner, but I decided taking a bath and relaxing was more important than prepping a loaf of meat and cut up potatoes.  Mike called me and I told him I wasn't really up to making dinner (wife of the year I am) and he offered to get the makings for subs (or hoagies for you strange people that call them hoagies). I agreed happily!

He stopped at our favorite produce store, Top Tomato, and got honey smoked turkey, pepper jack cheese, lettuce, a red onion and some other things. I was freaking starving. This trip took forever and we had his mom and sister coming over between 7-7:30 to pick up our full bed. I don't know about you but I hate being interrupted during dinner time. So it was pushing 6:30 and he still wasn't home. You can imagine at this point I'm getting pretty hangry.  He finally pulled in and I got to work getting the lettuce and onions prepped.

So if I was too lazy to make a (simple) meatloaf, do you think that I used the little hand protector for the onion? No, why would I do that? It just would create yet another thing for me to clean after we were done eating.  So I cut off a very small edge of the onion and started slicing away that onion on the mandolin.  Until my middle finger got sliced right through it!

Insert the loudest scream imaginable and me crying hysterically, two frantic cats and a husband who doesn't know what the hell is going on. I screamed because I knew my finger sliced through the mandolin. I wasn't in pain.  Then 30 seconds later, the pain and GUSHING, SQUIRTING blood came.  Oh my GOD,  What the hell did I do? It was awful. I couldn't stop crying. It really hurt so bad!

Two hours later it was still bleeding and I really didn't know if I should go to the ER or not. I called my nurse friend and she was surprised at how calm I sounded.  I told her, Coll, last year I slowly ripped off my toenail under my front door, this is cake compared to that! (If you've been around these parts for awhile you remember this story) So basically she suggested cleaning it out, and wrapping it up, also, getting a tetanus shot,  A SHOT? AKA A NEEDLE? HELL NO,

Well, long story short, I got it cleaned up, and my doctor's office isn't open on Wednesdays (?) so I went to Health Services at work and they gave me the shot for free. Hell yeah. And I didn't even cry :)

Mandolin slicers, they are pretty serious. ALWAYS USE THE GUARD!

P.S. the pictures are gross. But if you are interested....