something i thought would never happen...

...after I deleted my Facebook Account.

I have been feeling lonely lately.

Oh the woes of Facebook.

Empty. Sad. But not depressed. Like I am happy but I feel  like I'm missing something from my life. I'd say the last 2 months or so?  I don't know what it is.  I have my husband, I have my kitties, family, friends. What is it?

At first I thought it was the fact that I am on the van pool now, and I don't see my mom and dad that often anymore.  But honestly, I didn't see them that much when I slept over their house for the work week.  I'd be out at the park exercising (going shopping), meeting up with so-and-so, reading in my bedroom. There wasn't much interaction with them besides eating a quick dinner (15 minutes) and we'd all be doing our own thing.

Then I thought maybe I had withdrawal from my Summer TV Shows.  Around blogger, it seems like people really HATE summer tv programs. But I'm quite the opposite. I LOVE it.  All summer, I was dedicated to Mistresses (Mondays), Pretty Little Liars (Tuesdays), Rookie Blue (Thursdays) and then it was practically the weekend at that point and I had better things to do like binge-watch Drop Dead Diva and Hart of Dixie on Netflix. Who has time for commercials on the weekend? Not me. But really, who gets sad over TV seasons ending? 

I still have the same number of friends I have always had.  I see them the same.  I did think at one point things would change with Rachel, but I'm so glad they haven't.  In fact, I love every minute I get to spend with her (and Anthony) and Isabella! She's seriously the darn-cutest baby I've ever laid my eyes on.  She is my test-run for when I have my own kid (someday). It's so cool to see her grow week-by-week, something I have never experienced (and please note I have 3 nieces, soon to be 4). I see Coll about 1x a month because she has a crazy busy schedule. This girl, I'm so proud of her, a former hater of school is now a full time Nurse and furthering her schooling to become Nurse Practitioner! 

What the heck is it then? Why am I so lonely?

I deleted my facebook just a little over a month ago. Is that what this is all about?? It surely can't be. I can't stand facebook. People annoy the hell out of me with what they post. The internet creepily tells me what I should be buying in between said posts on my newsfeed.  It's nothing but all crap and shared articles, or people fishing for comments.  I really have barely used it this past year, but finally in mid-August I decided I was getting off for good*.  Honestly it was the best decision I have made in awhile.  I found myself getting so freaking irritated over the dumbest shit, that it would ruin my day. Nothing particularly directed at me, but just in general. Sometimes I could tell little jabs being sent my way but it just pissed me off to high heavens.  I knew I had to delete it. I really had no choice for my well being!

But all those pointless interaction with people I'm not really friends with.  Was that really filling up a void that is missing from me now? I refuse to believe it. Why do I feel like it was though? It used to be me saying to my mom, "Oh, I knew that already. Saw it on Facebook 2 days ago" and now the tables have turned and mom says to me, "I saw this cute picture of X on Facebook yesterday," and then I kind of frown, because I'm sad I'm missing out on things!

What happened to people uploading their pictures on Snapfish and creating albums and emailing everyone? I could take that statement even further and say "what happened to people making REAL photo albums" but that is a little extreme, I know.  So I guess what I'm saying is, as much as Facebook irritated the shit out of me, I kinda miss it.

*And just like that I'm actually back on it, not because of this reason though. Rachel notified me that she found an online group for selling things (like used baby toys and other various items) and was perusing and found none other than my crazy ass S-I-L selling my BRIDESMAID DRESS that she wore to MY WEDDING.  Ok. I know that we all tell our bridesmaids "you can wear it again!!" but really, YOU COULD WEAR THIS DRESS AGAIN.  And she's selling it. For $100!! Now I know that SHE paid for it, but it's custom fit, don't you think that's a little extreme of a price?  So once again, I have joined facebook, and it's going to piss me off but I can't help but stalk the listing to see what other items she ends up putting for sale.

P,S. we found another one.... it was their Christmas present I got them 2 years ago. SMH.