September 22, 2014

something i thought would never happen...

...after I deleted my Facebook Account.

I have been feeling lonely lately.

Oh the woes of Facebook.

Empty. Sad. But not depressed. Like I am happy but I feel  like I'm missing something from my life. I'd say the last 2 months or so?  I don't know what it is.  I have my husband, I have my kitties, family, friends. What is it?

At first I thought it was the fact that I am on the van pool now, and I don't see my mom and dad that often anymore.  But honestly, I didn't see them that much when I slept over their house for the work week.  I'd be out at the park exercising (going shopping), meeting up with so-and-so, reading in my bedroom. There wasn't much interaction with them besides eating a quick dinner (15 minutes) and we'd all be doing our own thing.

Then I thought maybe I had withdrawal from my Summer TV Shows.  Around blogger, it seems like people really HATE summer tv programs. But I'm quite the opposite. I LOVE it.  All summer, I was dedicated to Mistresses (Mondays), Pretty Little Liars (Tuesdays), Rookie Blue (Thursdays) and then it was practically the weekend at that point and I had better things to do like binge-watch Drop Dead Diva and Hart of Dixie on Netflix. Who has time for commercials on the weekend? Not me. But really, who gets sad over TV seasons ending? 

I still have the same number of friends I have always had.  I see them the same.  I did think at one point things would change with Rachel, but I'm so glad they haven't.  In fact, I love every minute I get to spend with her (and Anthony) and Isabella! She's seriously the darn-cutest baby I've ever laid my eyes on.  She is my test-run for when I have my own kid (someday). It's so cool to see her grow week-by-week, something I have never experienced (and please note I have 3 nieces, soon to be 4). I see Coll about 1x a month because she has a crazy busy schedule. This girl, I'm so proud of her, a former hater of school is now a full time Nurse and furthering her schooling to become Nurse Practitioner! 


What the heck is it then? Why am I so lonely?

I deleted my facebook just a little over a month ago. Is that what this is all about?? It surely can't be. I can't stand facebook. People annoy the hell out of me with what they post. The internet creepily tells me what I should be buying in between said posts on my newsfeed.  It's nothing but all crap and shared articles, or people fishing for comments.  I really have barely used it this past year, but finally in mid-August I decided I was getting off for good*.  Honestly it was the best decision I have made in awhile.  I found myself getting so freaking irritated over the dumbest shit, that it would ruin my day. Nothing particularly directed at me, but just in general. Sometimes I could tell little jabs being sent my way but it just pissed me off to high heavens.  I knew I had to delete it. I really had no choice for my well being!

But all those pointless interaction with people I'm not really friends with.  Was that really filling up a void that is missing from me now? I refuse to believe it. Why do I feel like it was though? It used to be me saying to my mom, "Oh, I knew that already. Saw it on Facebook 2 days ago" and now the tables have turned and mom says to me, "I saw this cute picture of X on Facebook yesterday," and then I kind of frown, because I'm sad I'm missing out on things!

What happened to people uploading their pictures on Snapfish and creating albums and emailing everyone? I could take that statement even further and say "what happened to people making REAL photo albums" but that is a little extreme, I know.  So I guess what I'm saying is, as much as Facebook irritated the shit out of me, I kinda miss it.

*And just like that I'm actually back on it, not because of this reason though. Rachel notified me that she found an online group for selling things (like used baby toys and other various items) and was perusing and found none other than my crazy ass S-I-L selling my BRIDESMAID DRESS that she wore to MY WEDDING.  Ok. I know that we all tell our bridesmaids "you can wear it again!!" but really, YOU COULD WEAR THIS DRESS AGAIN.  And she's selling it. For $100!! Now I know that SHE paid for it, but it's custom fit, don't you think that's a little extreme of a price?  So once again, I have joined facebook, and it's going to piss me off but I can't help but stalk the listing to see what other items she ends up putting for sale.

P,S. we found another one.... it was their Christmas present I got them 2 years ago. SMH.


10 comments:

  1. You watch Rookie Blue too?! It's filmed in Toronto, where I used to live for five years. I just LOVE THAT SHOW! I didn't know non-Canadians watched it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are so funny!!! So as for the photo album comment - I'm totally jumping back into the olden days if you will and making an album for real - not a photo book and not an online album, but something I would actually want to save for my kids to see one day!! And girl - facebook annoys the crap out of me - yet I'm still on it too lol!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Facebook can piss me off too, but I can't quit it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Omg that would make me so mad! One of my best friends had a garage sale a couple years ago and was basically selling every gift I had given her. It was like she ended the friendship without telling me!

    ReplyDelete
  5. What you said about little things on Facebook irritating you and putting you in a bad mood is exactly how I feel about it. I hate it, I rarely use it, and honestly Facebook makes me feel lonely. And it bothers me in a way that nothing on Twitter or Instagram does. I think that's probably because I'm more picky about who I follow on those (even though I'm public) because I actually post stuff there and I don't post much of anything on FB. I keep it mostly because it's the easiest way to keep track of some family members and some friends in the military who are overseas/without other communication. But it's definitely bad for me, and for a lot of people I think!

    And about that dress and the Christmas present... WOW. That's just so rude. I also feel like she's dumb but what do I know. I would be especially hurt that it's for sale on Facebook of all places, which is not like a buy/sell site. It's like she's just trying to get rid of stuff. Ick. I'm on your side!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've been having a love hate relationship with facebook lately too. I seriously almost deleted it last night.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have seriously considered deleting by FB so many times I can't even tell you.

    And uh, hi, rude!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh my gosh how rude - I can kinda understand the bridesmaid dress, or rather the want to sell it not saying it's right, but still - the christmas gift?! rude! i use facebook to keep in contact with family overseas, but i got really lonely about a year after i moved to the states because i had like 5 friends on FB who were actually in the same time zone so it was basically like not having FB at all. Among other reasons, it's why I started a blog, lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Aw HELLLLLLL no! Your Christmas gift AND bridesmaid dress?!? Not cool! And um hi, doesn't she know that you may be part of the group or see it?? Also, there are a ton of articles out there that prove that FB could actually make you feel lonely (like here: http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/how-facebook-makes-us-unhappy). I try not to go on or post, but I haven't deactivated because a lot of my friends who I can't see often just had babies and I love seeing the pics.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ummmmm I'm sorry that made me freaking crack up! She is totally busted!!!! Christmas and Bridesmaid???? I honestly hate FB but it's like programed into my life now.....oh have to wait for some BS thing at the deli counter.....scroll through FB.....waiting in a checkout line......facebook. Isn't there anything better yet???

    ReplyDelete