June 30, 2014

The 15 stages of bidding on Ebay (with gifs)

So basically, I love ebay. It all started off with a day like this:

Me today at work:

So what to do then? Go on ebay and browse for shit I don't actually need. Example: Kate Spade (really? again with the KS? I'm obsessed...I know.) Wellesley Planner.

First: Search for the best deals on the newest planners.

Preferably "ending soonest" (because you know that you needed that planner like yesterday) or "Price + Shipping lowest first". It can be tricky sorting this way, because your likely to find a seller who just listed item, and it's on for 45 days. See HERE for example.

2. You think you've actually come across a really great deal and are so excited:

3. So you decide, I'm bidding on this because it allows me to give my best offer:

4. But then you start to stalk the listing seeing that there are now "11 people watching" and "6 other offers" on item:

5. You decide to write a very sophisticated note to the seller asking intelligent questions while secretly hoping they think you are the best suitor for the princess planner.

6. All this stalking of the listing is wiping you out, so it's best to close all forms of ebay (you know it's open on your work computer, ipad. home computer AND phone). But THEN you get a NOTIFICATION:

But it's just to let you know that:

7. Your "Best Offer Bid" gets counter-offered. At first you react like this:
8. Then this:

9. So now you've decided you're going to counter-back with a new offer:

10. Afterwards, when it's declined:

11. Now you feel like an ass, because that's twice the seller has decided that your monies aren't good enough for her USED Kate Spade Planner, that quite possibly has a defect because the other one's were too expensive, and had about eleventy hundred bids on them.  Do you purchase it at her first counter offer? Or forget about it?

12. 3 days hours go by and you decide that you NEED this planner, and your life depends on it literally. Because you are such a planner, and are convinced that if you own a Kate Spade planner, everything in your life will go according to schedule (as planned).

13. Even though you are now buying the planner at $45 dollars more than what you wanted to spend, and the original counter-offer of the seller...

14. But now, you've received the notification that the SELLER HAS ACCEPTED "YOUR" OFFER!

15. The planner is yours.  You get the tracking, receive it three days later, and use it religiously for 2 weeks.  Then a holiday rolls around, and you lose all your motivation for scheduling. And then it ends up in your purse that you used two weeks ago, and that's been shoved away in the closet.


So. What do you think? Pretty accurate?

June 25, 2014

Confessions of a Pee-a-holic

I recently bought new undies from Target (shockingly) and I love them.  I got the Xhilaration and Gilligan & O'Malley brands.  Some of the Xhilaration ones are total garbage, and then some, like these are just awesome. They are so soft and I give them snaps for being way better than any of that Victoria's Secret over priced shit (that falls apart after two washes).  Anyway, so right now I'm wearing the so-called "Hipsters" but they are one size too big, and just giving me a major wedgie. And the cotton isn't really pairing too well with the dress I'm wearing right now. So I'm rather frustrated but at least they are soft on my bum and that's what counts, right?

---what a nice way to start a blog post, talking about UNDERWEAR---

I seriously have issues when it comes to hair.  I think my hair has changed in about 5 different ways in the last year alone.  I'm currently in the phase of re-growing my hair out again, because I really miss the easiness of a pony tail. Don't get too worried though, I'm keeping it around shoulder length. I've come to the conclusion, and I know I've def said it on here before, I will never have that pinterest, celebrity, beautiful wavy long hair. Right now I'm really reallllly tempted to try the ombre (I still love it), but I'm worried it will look stupid on short hair. What do you think? Please answer in the comments below!! I value everyone's opinion.
short hair ombre
All pictures have been found via Pinterest.
I didn't go to the gym Monday or yesterday. I'm upset with myself but my legs were sore as hell from my run Sunday night and doing the TIU bikini series workouts. I will work out today.

I have two watches (gold and tortoise shell) that are no-namers, and completely broken, but I still wear them anyway because they look good.

I have a $200 gift card to a mall burning a hole in my pocket since Christmas. Any suggestions on what to get? I also may have been putting off going to said-mall because A) I have to pay a toll to get there, B) it's only convenient to go straight from work and C) someone was MURDERED there during Christmas time. Thanks boss. #imsuchawhineybitch

Why is it that some days when I have a 16oz coffee I don't have to pee and other day's I go every hour on the hour? Small bladder problems. Wah. If you haven't guessed, today is one of those days I'm getting great exercise walking across the damn building to get to the LR.

It's only been 5 days since a beautiful little peanut was born and I already miss her and need to see her.  I know I need to give her mommy & daddy space and time to enjoy these moments but I want to snuggle and pinch her cheeks! Oh, and I also have appointed myself as Isabella's Fairy Godmother.  I did after all learn to perform magic with Sabrina the Teenage Witch's Magic handbook.



Okay, now that I've gotten my funnies out of the way, here is a confession that I also want to hear everyone's thoughts, opinions and stories.

Like no joke, me and Michael are legit an old, married couple (after 2 years).  I'm so annoyed lately because we come home, sometimes eat together, and then he goes and watches TV in one room, and I, in the other (I can't help that my current obsession is Drop Dead Diva and I happen to love my living room set up).  So that goes on for 2 hours or so (we eat dinner by 7 because we both work far from home) and we are literally exhausted. I go to bed between 9-930 and he stays up late, or goes to the gym.

I'm pissed off that marriage isn't like a fairy tale, or a movie. But am I wrong for constantly wishing I had a movie-like marriage?  Deep down I know that it's wrong to expect your marriage to be like a movie, I know this doesn't exist, but is it wrong to want it to?  For the record, Michael is my best friend, and we NEVER fight.  I know this is hard to believe, but with a smile like his, it's really hard to get angry, or stay mad at him! I try to pick fights because I'm a little snot like that and he just listens and smiles back at me, and it ultimately ends up becoming laughs. It's quite comical and frustrating all at the same time. But basically I just want to know that we aren't the only couple who ends up hanging out by ourselves during the week night.

Today I'm linking up with two favorites, Kathy and Liz! Thank you ladies, you both give us a reason to blog on Wednesdays :)


Vodka and Soda


The Hump Day Blog Hop


June 24, 2014

what kind of person are you?

Oops... I did it again.


Kate Spade Cedar Street Maise in Ballet Slipper

I know, what the hell am I doing?  I have a lot of nerve posting the link to this bag because A) it's $298.00 and B) I didn't pay that much. WHAT?!

HOW!?

How you ask? Wellllll not to flaunt my friends, but I have a friend who works for Kate Spade. The purse was originally hers, and she most likely got it for 50% off (who knows what kind of percentage discount employees get), and she just happens to be a shop-a-holic, so she listed it for sale on FB. I saw it and loved it and knew I wanted it but only if it was worth the price. Well, bottom line, it is because it has the most oh-so-cute polka dots and spades on the liner inside, and it's the perfect size, and the cutest most girly pink you could ever ask it to be.  One easy paypal transaction later and I had the bag in my hands.  So, originally the bag was (let's just round it to) $300, I got it for $150.  That's a steal.

So anway, besides my shopping habits spiraling into the deep dark sea, my blog post today is about "What kind of person are you?". Originally I had this idea to make it a fun and silly post (maybe in the future)...but I am bringing it to a more semi-serious level today.

What kind of person are you?

Are you a person who holds doors for people? Do you make eye contact with complete strangers in the hallway? Do you go out of your way to avoid people by taking a different path? Or maybe you are the type of person to be the center of the party, that everyone flocks to because you are that fun to be around (and not saying you aren't fun if you are any of the first bullet points).

Anyway, what I'm getting at is, I am one of those people that take different paths, look down at my feet when I walk in the hallway and someone walks by.  I really don't know why I do this, but I do.  Mostly on days that I'm not feeling my most glamorous. Or if I have a pimple. Or if I feel my outfit sucks.  I don't want to be like this anymore! I feel like it's more of a task to avoid people than it is to encounter them.  I am definitely an introvert. Now, I'm not exactly shy, I can thank my customer service job at Vonage for that...I learned how to speak to all types of people (whether they had an accent, they were polite, pissed off, just needed help) and became very good at it.  So when it comes to gatherings, and going out, I just find that while I don't mind talking to people, sometimes I just want to be left alone to myself.

But with half a year gone already, obviously life isn't slowing down.  I'm finding that when I'm getting older, time is speeding by.  I feel like it was just a few months ago that Rachel was showing me her picture that she would reveal to FB that she was pregnant.  I remember it so vividly because we were critiquing which color ribbon she should wear around her stomach (red was more vibrant, and the hunter green just wasn't popping like we wanted it to), we were editing the photo upstairs in my home office.  Well, now it's 6 months later and I'm just 2 months away from my twenty ninth birthday.   This post is by no means a crisis post that "oh my god i'm turning 30 soon!!", it's just more of a post accepting that I am an introvert by nature, and that it's really time to do something about it.

Today my challenge is to make eye contact with someone when we walk by, say hello, but loud enough for them to smile back (I usually whisper "hello"...why do we do that?!?).  Smile. Be confident. Be me. And hopefully I'll make a habit of it.

And I guess I'll have a little help from my new purchase, a new purse always makes me feel good :)

So what kind of person are you? Do you make eye contact with complete strangers?

June 23, 2014

6/20 was a special day

Normally on a Monday morning I would have no issues banging out a post but today I'm just exhausted and my fingers don't feel like working right now.  I'm sort of pissed with blogger because I'm trying to read everyone's post (I view them through the blogfeed on the blogger dashboard) and for some dumb reason it's only showing 1 post, with a "view more" link below, and well when I click on it, it doesn't show me more. So as you can imagine I'm mildly annoyed but let's not talk any further about it because something that minor could likely ruin my morning (easily irritated what can I say?).

So since I don't feel like typing a long ass weekend update post, I'm going to show you how it went. This is a combination of photos from my iphone and my Nikon.  Enjoy!  P.S. Stick around to the bottom to hear how ridiculous Linus is when we take a 2 minute trip to the vet.


Tank: Cynthia Rowley (Marshall's) | Belt: Kohl's | Skirt: WALMART~! | Watch: Style & Co. (Macy's)

[P.S. I could never be a fashion blogger because I'm way too lazy to find the exact and/or similar items to link to] :-)

 



Holy Preciousness, right?? First of all, she's the cutest little peanut ever. second... Isabella Rose! HOW SWEET! I LOOOVEE her name.  If you haven't guessed, my best friend Rachel finally had her baby!! So excited. I can't wait to snuggle up with her, give her kisses and talk baby to her. I will finally be able to see what it's really like to be an Aunt. (insert sad face here since I have 3 nieces. you know the backgrounds). 

video

Good old Linus on the way to the vet. Yep. Total baby status. But besides the crying, can you believe how huge his fangs are?!!? He gained 1lb and I'm not happy about it (he weighs 10lbs now). But on the flipside he is one healthy kitty so that's great!  Peanut is still having issues with her eyes.  Poor thing.

Saturday morning running.  I had this brilliant idea that we were going to take a trail to see Cherry Quay, a beautiful road that runs along the bay and it would all be perfect because I'd have really great photo ops for the blog (obviously) while exercising.  Well good, old neighbor DAVE tells us about this so-called trail. Total shit.  This trail was like 3/4 mile through weeds, swamps, old shit all over the place, and bugs GALORE. OH, and DRAGONFLIES GALORE. UGH. That crap was all OVER me. So anyway, we finally make it to the end, and there are those large trees basically separating this trail to someone's property.  I told Mike to go through and apparently a man who lived there was outside and said something a long the lines "yeah I wouldn't go through there if I were you".  What the F is that supposed to mean? Like it's dangerous and buggy? Or you just don't want us trapsing through your property? Long story short, we turned around and had to face that ridiculousness on the way back and I stepped in swampy muddy areas and my feet were disgusting. Hence the photo above to the right. We were NOT happy.

By the way, we later saw Dave at the pool and I said "Dave, what's up with that trail? Totally bogus"... his response was "Ahh really?? Well it's been two years since I ran through it". REALLY DAVE. TWO YEARS?!?!?! AYE! (p.s. we really like our neighbor Dave he's so nice).

Solo running on a Sunday evening at it's finest.  Honestly, I told Mike if I didn't come home in an hour to send out a search party for me.  Something about this park, so peaceful yet so creepy when you are the only one there!! Luckily as I got towards the other end there ending up being a ton of people playing on the football field and playgrounds.

So, pretend fashion blogging, baby visiting and running were this weekends adventures.  Next week, I'm going to a wedding up in Florham Park at the Park Savoy.  I'm kinda sorta NOT looking forward to it.

BYE !

June 18, 2014

unexpected days off

So I thought I had something really juicy to reveal for Humpday confessions, but it turns out I really don't.

What I thought I was going to share was this:

I confess that, I'm "working at home today" and then taking my cat Peanut to the vet later.

While that is a borderline true story, it turns out, that I'm taking Peanut to the vet, and taking a vacation day. Wah....  I felt like I would have been living on the edge knowing I was home, and not really working, just casually monitoring my email while sunning myself in this glorious (yes I said it) heat.  But my conscience got to me and I pulled a goody-tooshoes and am taking a full on vacation day.  I mean, if I'm going to be outside tanning myself all day, wouldn't that look somewhat suspicious if I was working at home?

Meh. Moving on...

I confess that this is the absolute LAST year I will be buying target bathing suits. I am currently writing this post in this bathing suit.  Stupid thing was washed once and the dumb cup in the top is already flopping outwards. COME ON.  Please tell me you know what I'm talking about? Why does Target have to produce such cheap shit while being so irresistibly cute? TARGET = MONEY SUCKERS.

Target Swim Suit



I went to the gym yesterday. I didn't go once last week due to my stupid lady friend showing up midweek and giving me the cramps from hell. I only walked just under 2 miles but at various inclines.  I feel like I cheated on my body.  But I also did Tone It Up Bikini Series Arms work out as well as inner/outer thighs. Holy shit, are they still burning 2 days later! So, I don't know what that confession was other than I didn't work out as much as I should have, but having your lady friend come is a valid excuse, right?

I like being able to successfully peel off nail polish in one piece from my finger nails. Chipped nails are uglier than non-painted fingernails.  At quick glance, these could be mistaken for rose petals. HA, not.


I've been taking Melatonin before I go to bed.  I'm happy to report I feel like it's working.  I'm sleeping through the night and waking up more refreshed.

We keep our front window blinds half open so Peanut & Linus can sit on their cat stairs (they aren't ugly, see below) and look out over the bushes.  I get really creeped out when I'm sitting or laying down on the couch and the landscape people come and do work around the house.  I feel so weird when we make eye contact. So weird that even after I know they saw me, I sneak over to the window and close the blinds. Would you do the same? See example below.

So, pretty lame confessions, but I can't resist this link up!! Thank you Kathy for hosting! And I'm so excited to have contributed to the new button. Like I said, Ryan Gossling = so not THAT hot. Ian Somerhalder? YES PLEASE.
Vodka and Soda

June 17, 2014

a post about sloppy joe.

Sloppy Joe as in the food, not the man.

First and foremost, for those of you who have been around since The LO Down, I apologize in advance if you've read this.  So, I deleted that blog and all of its contents back when I created the Peanut Program.  (Stupid. My writing was seriously hilar) and I was trying to tidy up my home computer last night and came across this (what I thought was funny) post about my day and eating Sloppy Joes.

Here we go: This post was written December 20, 2012. So it was highly likely it was posted to the LO Down.  As I mentioned before, sorry if you read this...but now I have a new crowd around these parts so let's give them a taste of good old sourpuss Lauren from 2012. (Oh, for some reason the entire post is in lowercase. Please forgive me, I don't write that way!)
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Title: I just wanted to eat my sloppy joe.

So I'm on my merry way home from work, when a local NJ radio station brings up the topic "do you give a courtesy wave when someone let's you in/go during traffic?" oh you bet you bottom dollar i called in.  did i get through? no, i didn't. so naturally i had steam coming out of my ears, because i myself at that very moment let someone in, on the parkway of course, and i did NOT GET A WAVE. Yes!! This IRKS the SHIZNAT out of me. i mean for real, doesn't anyone have manners anymore? anyway, the majority of people agreed that they give the "wave", but did you really expect to hear some fool phone in saying they don't do that?

Reminds me of that episode of Seinfeld: The Good Samaritan. ha.
"Oh there’s a guy trying to get in front of me, he has to ask permission. Yes. Go ahead. Get in, get in."
"Did you get a thank you wave?"
"No, nothing. How could you not give a thank you wave? Hey buddy! Where’s my thank you wave?……Give me that wave!"


Anyway, I made it home and was so very excited to have my left over sloppy joe for dinner.  I was practically thinking about it all day long in work. I opted not to bring for lunch, as i figured re-heating on the actual stove vs. the microwave would make it 100x better.  
first, i go in the fridge, and notice the roll i had out yesterday is gone. it now resides in the garbage. (thanks, M!)

thats OK i GUESS, because i know i have more rolls in the freezer.  so i go to the freezer, and pull out the rolls.  the first one i pick has mold on it. great. i thoroughly inspect all of the other rolls, and 3 out of 5 have mold on them.  when the hell did this happen? they were in the freezer. how did they get mold spots? so i was left with the two reject rolls that would have been my last choice.

i pop them in the microwave under "reheat" setting. rookie mistake. i let it go for a good minute, but i thought if its on the reheat setting, it wouldn't be as powerful and hot.  wrong.  i got them out of the microwave and those stupid rolls were like rubber balls. i then decided maybe i could maybe make them less rubbery, but putting them in the oven. so thats just what i did.

now while they were un-rubberizing themselves in the oven, i heated up the sloppy joe. and boy was it delish.

finally the rolls are crisping up and i decided it is about time to take them out and eat. my tongue was practically hanging out of my mouth salivating at this point. i grabbed some chips and loaded them up on my plate, sliced open the two rolls and scooped in my sloppy joe. great! i'm so excited!


next, instead of sitting at the dinner table, like i probably should have done, i went into the back room and decided to use a little wooden folding side table (i purchased it in walmart for like $10.00). now, keep in mind, i already had the plate in my hand, and i'm not sure why i did this but i put the plate on this table and attempted to move it to be infront of me as i sat on the couch. what happened? the stupid ass table leg (its like a criss-cross underneath that slides) slipped, and the entire table fell AWAY from me. the sloppy joe went a-sliding right off the table, right ONTO THE CARPET. SLOPPY JOE. ON THE CARPET. "F--K!" i screamed on the top of my lungs.  i'm pretty sure my neighbors heard me but at this point i don't care. so really, orange, ground beef, in my carpet. if that's not disgusting, i don't know what is.

my damn cats decided they wanted to walk THROUGH the mess and track it over various places on the floor. i tried picking up the pieces as best as i could. in this process, i got sloppy joe knee prints, and orange grease on my hands. what the hell, right? all i wanted was this g-d damn sloppy joe. i ended up still having the steamer that my mother in law let me borrow (from when i steamed the carpets for the party in the beginning of the month).  it didn't help, so long story short, my back room now smells like sloppy joe + there is a big orange stain on the ugly rug.

and to top things off, i burnt my popcorn. not the burnt popcorn that i like, but literally black inside the bag.


yay :)

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Please pretend to like this story because I honestly find it so silly.  I just love how irritated I get over the dumbest things. But in my defense, this was so the opposite of dumb and totally frustrating.  At least a year and a half later I can laugh about it :)

P.S. That rug is long gone by the way, many wine and beer spills.  What can I say, that room in the back is for rowdy gatherings.

June 16, 2014

it's all in the bag

Weekends really go by too fast. But we all know that so there was really no point into writing that. Actually there was, it was the "I don't know how to start this blog post so I'm going to write that" point. Whatever that was probably the dumbest blog post introduction ever.

It was a really nice weekend. Here it is in short points: Drop Dead Diva, Kate Spade, 8 mile bike ride, Car appointment, McDonald's oatmeal (so good), Wash/Wax my car, BBQ for Dad at brothers, Dinner at Gma's for my husband's family.

It was a good weekend. It really was, and I finally was able to use my new camera again.  You know how I wanted to use it to go to the Zoo....we didn't get there again.  But I guess I kind of figured that would happen being it was a holiday over the weekend.

Wait a minute, back up, did I mention Kate Spade in that paragraph before? I most certainly did!! I decided to order a purse + wallet while they had a "Surprise" Sale last week. But really I don't know what was so "surprising" about it considering I just checked the website and it's still FOR SALE. But none the less I can say that I participated in the Kate Spade Surprise sale. Ha, whatever. So here is the bag!


Kate Spade Grove Court Small Sloan in color: Dark Geranium

Shirt: LC Lauren Conrad (old) | Necklace: Forever21 | Shorts: H&M | Purse: Kate Spade | Wedges(old): Steve Madden (similar)

I should tell you, when you look at the picture on the KS website, don't you think it looks like a dark coral color? Well, don't think that. Because it's totally not. I sure was "surprised" when I got the bag in the mail. I can say I was slightly let down, but the bag has grown on me now that I used it all weekend.  I should have read the reviews, because stupidly I checked them after I got the back and what do you know this was on the reviews: "However, if you're thinking that it will be a coral pink, it is actually a (very bright) hot pink. " It truly is a stunning purse and I LOVE IT.  I got this cute wallet to (somewhat) go with it.  Different kinds of leather but matching colors.



 Not my best angle, but I got the skirt + tank from Marshall's.  I can't remember the brand specifically on the maxi skirt, but it was SO affordable ($16.99 people!!) and I liked the tank because it was a little more upscale than a good old Target white tank top.  It was $9.99 and the brand Cynthia Rowley.  I have a lot of her things (from Marshall's).  I do so well there!

 Happy Father's Day! This is a great picture of me and my dad.


And of course, me and Michael! I just love this man.

How was your weekend?? Linking up with B Loved Boston and Champagne & Suburbs today!


Weekending

June 11, 2014

Humpty-Dumpty Confessions



So one thing I failed to mention in my weekend recap yesterday was that I read and finished The Fault in our Stars.  I bought it Friday afternoon and just finished it last night (Monday night).

Since it's Humpday confessions. . .

Vodka and Soda

I know this one is gonna get an uproar put on some people's shit lists but i just don't care...

but, I confess that I didn't think "The Fault in our Stars" was in the 'OH MY GOD, STOP WHAT YOUR DOING RIGHT NOW AND READ THIS BOOK' category. I'm sorry. It just wasn't.  I have read WAY better books.  With that said, I think the movie is going to be better.  Once it comes out in Redbox I will absolutely be renting it.  Because publicly crying is just not my thing.

P.S. I didn't cry reading the book.  But one of the major parts where I would have expected to, I was cycling at the gym so possibly I didn't want to look like an idiot.  Call me the devil but yeah, it just didn't wow me.

I confess that eating healthy sucks.  I miss my lay's potato chips and extra buttery popcorn. [editor's note: i ate lays potato chips last night]

I confess, that I really miss my long hair.  This humidity and short hair just isn't cutting it. And I really have some nerve to be complaining about humidity after the winter we had.  But confessions are for complaints right? For the most part?

Something I don't understand....why Essie's Bikini So Teeny is BLOWING up this summer? Wasn't it from like 2012? (p.s. i had to google that to pretend to be a know-it-all)

I'm getting really frustrated with people Craigslist. Because you know, I've been searching for a mountain bike and I've found so many good ones, at great prices, and by the time I email the owner, they are sold already. I emailed this man last night at 8pm and I still haven't received a response. HELLO, Is the bike available OR NOT? [editor's note again: apparently its sold because the ad is GONE]

Speaking of craigslist...I really liked the movie Craigslist Killer.  I know this was based on a true story, shame on me, but I love those Lifetime movies. You know what other one was good? The Perfect Husband (Starring former Clark Kent from Lois & Clark), and The Wrong Woman (starring Winnie Cooper).

I confess that I'd really like to kick Mother Nature's ass for blessing my face with 278 pimples...I don't know what's worst. Cystic acne on the chin that feels like a volcano ready to burst at any moment, or those stupid little shit pimps that can NEVER be popped because they are on weird meaty parts of your body (cheek, upper side above lip, your NECK, WHAT GIVES?!?!). Anyways, I'm hating her right now because again, pimples galore.

So, what else? I can't really think of anything at the moment. So this will have to do!

BYE!


June 10, 2014

longest weekend recap EVER

You know when you have a weekend planned down to the T and it ends up going NOTHING like the way you imagined it? Yeah, that was me this weekend. And please put on your patient pants because this is long.

Let me backtrack to last weekend when I went shopping at Costco and got suckered in to buying pulled pork carnitas from a complete stranger. A shopper stranger, not even an employee. And she suckered me into getting individual cups of guacamole, but it wasn't just regular guac, it was "greek yogurt guacamole" and I had my reservations about buying a 12 pack for $10 dollars but I did it anyway because I'm a #sucker (and she was following me around helping me find the stuff).  So fast forward a little to mid week when I wanted to eat this stuff everyday but Mike kept declining saying that he wanted to eat healthy, or he was going to the gym, or he had a work volleyball game and wouldn't be home. So then I just said that's IT. We are eating these stupid pork carnitas on Friday and that's that. By the way, they were amazing, and I would NEVER again buy the guacamole. EW.

Well Friday at noon rolled around and I got my ass out of my chair so quick at work to get on the parkway to go home.  I always have high expectations for Friday afternoons being I'm home by 12:50pm and I have the entire afternoon to myself.  But then I take one seat on the couch and I end up laying there for 3 hours with Netflix (currently watching Drop Dead Diva in case you were wondering).  So that basically turns into me being a lazy ass bum who doesn't want to cook dinner.  Making tacos sounded like too much work to me, even though they just required 7 minutes on high in the microwave.  But we all know tacos don't just include meat preparation.  They included chopped lettuce, pico de gallo, shredded cheese, and the torturous job of heating up the shells. So that just wasn't happening.

So after about 5 phone calls, we decided that we would go out to dinner, pack lunch for the Cape May Zoo, and then have the carnitas for dinner on Saturday.

That sounded like a good plan to me!

We went to dinner at Bahama Breeze.  Mike really twisted my arm but the thought of Mahi Mahi fish tacos was really calling my name so I said why not?  I'm kinda against bahama breeze and most chains for that matter.  I like more of a cutesy place, or applebees for 1/2 price apps and that's it.  Well, I got the mahi mahi and they were pretty good.  I would say a solid 7.5 out of 10.  They missed the mark because whoever put them together decided that it was totally normal to NOT drain the slaw that came with them so they were a big sloppy mess and I'm a messy eater as it is so FAIL.  Whatever, we went home and stayed up late watching a Jaws 2 and honestly Brody seriously must have balls of steel because who in their right mind would do this:

So Saturday rolls around and it's now 8:30am, 30 minutes PAST our departure time for the Zoo.  I asked Mike if we were going, and he said "Tomorrow". FINE. Tomorrow it is. If you don't go I'm going to be pissed. So he went to his Gpa's to help him in the back yard while I sat at our pool and did a little bit of this:

And then went to Old Navy to score two pairs of running shorts for $10.00 (cloudy sky and cloudy white). Did anyone else see they had them on sale for one day only at $5 each?? I'm so happy!

So I went to bed around 11pm or so, and around 2:30am I woke up to the most RIDICULOUS, CRAZY, INSANE explosive bomb sound.  I woke up in a panic, my heart was racing and my eyes were darting around like crazy. I sat up in the dark for a few minutes before I could figure out that I was okay.  Peanut was sound alseep next to me on Mike's pillow and Mike was in the other room (poor guy didn't want to disturb miss Peanut). He was sound asleep. So what the heck was that? Well, of course I decided to turn to trusty google and search "i heard an explosive bomb noise while sleeping but nothing happened". This result came up: Loud crash at 3 a.m.? Well apparently it could be Explosive Head Syndrome. I'm going to play Dr. Doogie Howser and diagnose myself with it.  Seriously, it was so scary.

So now - - Ask me if I went to the Zoo on Sunday??

that would be a big Fat NO. N-O. NO.

Insert every pissed off word imaginable here. and a sleeping husband (because the Rangers hockey game was on so long boo-hoooo). So, I was pissed and decided I was going to replace my screen door to my deck.  I measured the piece of shit that was up there and then went to Lowe's and got a replacement.  By this time (11am) I'm getting the "where are you?" phone call from him.  I got home, and we took off the original screen door and attempted to put the new one on. Well would you believe it was about 1 inch SHORT. As in, I couldn't use it, and had to return it BACK to Lowe's.  I sent Mike to do it because honestly I hate returning things.  So while he's doing that I'm attempting to get our original screen door back on, at this point its like 1000 degrees outside and I'm sweating and getting pissed.  Neighbor Dave decides he will help me (thank you so much!!) and all is well.  So I was still furious from not going to the Zoo, the door not being the right size, and unable to put the original back on, so I took out my frustrations on the bushes on the sides of the house.  I chopped them up so much because they were pissing me off. They look so much better now and aren't engulfing the entire side of the house (there are two of these monstrosities).

So while the majority of the weekend was a major pain in my ass, I scored some running shorts at a great deal, actually went to the gym all 3 days, got some lounge time by the pool (and a tan to go with it), and cleaned up the house.  I guess I can't complain too much, I'm actually looking forward to next next weekend when I can do this all over again (the pool lounging)...except this time I'm going to make sure to have some adult beverages with me because apparently, it is TOTALLY allowed in our complex! SCORE.

OH. PS My mother sent me this alarming video warning me not to use this kind of mascara... So just to be on the safe side, try to find a different mascara if you are using Covergirl Bombshell volume lashblast!